Finding Wild Lettuce in my Backyard. Nature's Opiate

6/14/13
This is not your everyday lettuce. No. You don't want to make a salad with this. Oh no. First of all, this sucker is a prickly little leaf. It has tiny needles all over the outside of the leaves and along the spine. It can seriously stab you if you grab it. Handle with care. There is another reason to handle with care, and this is that, this plant is known as "natures opium". I found out about this while researching herbs to use as muscle relaxants in the muscle salve I'm making for the chiropractor's office. This seemed to be the one. So i went on a mission to find it. Anything that says "opiate" in the description must be a pretty damned good muscle relaxer. So... I'm gonna add it, and kick those muscles butts. I had already found "natures aspirin", or wild willow bark the day previous, so I've got to get them both. I've got people in pain to help with arthritis, and other people in pain to help with severe muscle pain. The plan is to make their lives easier. I have high hopes for this herb.
Of course, some people would think to smoke this herb, which you can.. go ahead. Others, might want to make a tea with it. I might, some day, to try it out. But my plan is to add it to the muscle salve. I couldn't find the herb anywhere.
But then I went to school, and the owner of the shop at the school said they didn't have any there, but there just happened to be a big beautiful healthy plant growing in the front lawn. It took a bit of negotiating, but I managed to get some of the wild lettuce from the front yard at the school. That was super nice of him, and well, he's a super nice guy. He charged me $4, told me to make sure to dry it well before I soaked it in oil and off I went.
When I got back home and explained the situation to my roomie, he said he thought that this stuff grew wild around here. Not being the most focused on the botany aspect of herbalism (at least not for now) I had no clue. Figuring he had no idea what he was talking about, I shrugged it off, and planned to order some from an online distributor. But something interesting happened the next day. I had put the leaves in a paper bag on the windowsill hoping they would be dry by the morning. I woke up to find they were definitely not, and I wanted to get moving on the salve, so I tore open the bag, and put them outside in the scorching sun to dry. It wasn't windy, but I did know that I was taking a chance. If a gust of wind came through, the leaves would scatter all over the backyard, and I would be assed out. But I didn't care, i was totally focused on getting them dry to be smart about it. So.. I left them there to bake in the sun and waited in anticipation for them to get crispy. But then I started to make the tea for my next batch of kombucha.. and suddenly I remembered, oh boy, I'd better check on the wild lettuce.
They weren't there. The bag was nowhere to be seen. So I went on a scavenger hunt. AND GUESS WHAT I FOUND? I found that the plant was growing all over the backyard! And there are also a few little ones in the front yard! Not only does this plant "grow wild" around here... it grows wild in my yard. Wow! This is some pretty cool news. I had a nice lesson in botany.. I had to whip out the store bought wild lettuce and get intimate with the details to compare it to the plant that was growing in the backyard... and yep! wouldn't you know it! God only knows what my roomie will end up doing with all of this "nature's opium"... I may end up having to take him to rehab at some point, but for now, I'm just happy to have a resource like that in the backyard. Plus, its inspiring to learn about the local habitat here, and see how medicine can be growing in your own backyard and you might not even know it! Signing off for tonight. Sweet (non blue vervain induced) dreams.